Wie ich Universitätsanpassungen für meine Misophonie erhalten habe
"Es hat mich ein bisschen menschlicher fühlen lassen" Misophonie-Unterkünfte am College [Bild von soQuiet]
“Sei verwirrt, hier beginnst du, neue Dinge zu lernen. Sei gebrochen, das ist der Ort, an dem du anfängst zu heilen. Sei frustriert, das ist der Ort, an dem du authentischere Entscheidungen triffst. Sei traurig, denn wenn wir mutig genug sind, können wir die Weisheit unseres Herzens darin hören. Sei das, was du gerade bist. Kein Verstecken mehr. Du bist immer würdig.”
As a university student, things are already hard as it is without the added adversities of your personal life. The stress and anxiety around homework, studying, grades, exams, and the seemingly never ending path to reach your end goal of getting your degree is a lot to deal with!
Im ersten Jahr an der Universität dachte ich, es wäre eine gute Idee, ein volles Kursangebot mit 5 Kursen zu belegen. Helläugig und optimistisch, direkt heraus aus OberstufeIch hatte keinen Zweifel daran, dass ich mehr als fähig war, so viele Kurse zu bewältigen. Allerdings merkte ich schnell, dass das zu viel für mich war, und meine psychische Gesundheit begann rapide zu verschlechtern, sogar meine Misophonie symptoms got worse.
Ich habe gemerkt, dass ich empfindlicher auf meine aktivierenden Geräusche reagierte und viel weniger tolerant war, in einer Umgebung mit ihnen zu sein. Ich wurde zu einer genervten Version meiner selbst; Eine zurückgezogene und sensible Version von mir selbst. Gerade in meinen Kursen und während der Prüfungen war es unglaublich schwer, sich auf das zu konzentrieren, was der Professor sagte, denn sobald ich ein aktivierendes Geräusch hörte (das natürlich den Großteil des Unterrichts zu hören war), war das das Ende meiner Aufmerksamkeitsspanne und der Beginn meiner Kampf mit Misophonie for that class.
I would stay up until extremely late hours of the night crying and having an existential crisis over the overwhelming amount of homework I still had even after studying for so many hours without a break. There was no time to just breathe and have a moment for myself. I felt as though I was the only one who couldn’t handle the workload. It seemed that every other student around me was perfectly capable of handling such an intense course load all while being able to accommodate time for their hobbies and self care. It felt like I was the helpless, sensitive little fish in the sea of intelligent, accomplished whales.
On one of those many nights when I had to stay up really late working on some incredibly hard math homework, my mom came into my room and asked me what was wrong and what I needed help with.
Finally, all the tension and pressure I had been experiencing for the past month just emptied out in a loud rage as tears dropped quickly onto the pages of my math homework. I told her I couldn’t handle the amount of work I had signed up for partly because it was simply too much, but mainly because my mental health was rapidly in decline as it was getting harder and harder to live with the increased sensitivity of my Misophonia due to the overwhelming stress.
“It’s 2 am and here I am doing this, doing this stupid math homework I’ve been working on for hours. All because I couldn’t focus in class so I missed half the lecture, ‘cause the sounds hurt me mom, they hurt me. They rob me of all my attention and torture me. I can’t handle this anymore, do you understand?” I told her.
It was a toxic cycle of having to keep up with school and having to keep up with the battle with Misophonia. In order to keep up with school, I had to keep my Misophonia in check which was, and still is, tremendously difficult.
Once I told her of my pain and difficulties of having to go through school with Misophonia, she was at first confused about what I was experiencing but she reassured me that I could ask for help at my university and that it would be in my best interest to drop a class for the sake of my mental sanity.
Das war das erste Mal, dass ich einem meiner Elternteile erzählte, dass ich Misophonie habe, und es war so erleichternd, endlich zuzugeben, dass das Leben schwer ist, es nicht in meiner Kontrolle liegt, aber dass Dinge in meiner Kontrolle sein könnten, wenn ich einfach zugeben würde, dass ich Hilfe brauche.
Now, the journey to get that help and control began… even if ever so slowly.
“Meine psychische Gesundheit verschlechterte sich rapide, da es immer schwieriger wurde, mit der erhöhten Sensibilität meiner Misophonie durch den überwältigenden Stress zu leben. ”
Ressourcen für Nachteilsausgleiche an meiner Universität finden
I knew my biggest struggle was writing exams in a big lecture hall with hundreds of other students right beside me. The problem with this, as you can imagine, was that the lecture hall was essentially an echo chamber (due to its massive size to fit hundreds of students) where all the sounds of the students writing their exams rang in my ear hundreds of times over, teasing me, tormenting me, jumbling all the perfectly organized information in my head into a disastrous ball of clutter and second guessing.
As a result of being distracted and frustrated by my activating sounds, it took me a substantially longer amount of time to finish my exams. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even be able to finish many of the questions because I was so anxious and upset by the sounds in the room and being in such close proximity with other students! I knew I needed two things: more exam time and headphones to write all my exams. With this, I simply started my journey to get help by searching up “exam accommodations” at my specific university on Google.
I found a webpage about my school's accommodation program which included information about where I needed to go on campus to talk about getting accommodations as well as some information about what accommodations were and who qualified for them.
The next day, I went to the specified building and room mentioned on the accommodations webpage and talked to the secretary about wanting to get exam accommodations. She said I would need to first get a doctor's note to explain my need for accommodations, then sign some documentation, and then finally set up a meeting with an accommodations advisor to organize my accommodation needs for my exams.
It was a long process before I could get my accommodations, but I was determined and started immediately.
Going to see my doctor
The hardest part of this process for me was getting the doctor's note, not in the sense of actually going to get the note, but talking to my doctor about Misophonia and admitting it was something that was a major problem in my life which was now affecting me in my academics amongst many other things.
“So what brings you in today?”, the words “I have Misophonia” spilled out of my mouth with a sense of embarrassment yet relief. She looked at me with a blank stare and a silent moment passed by. “I’m sorry, what do you have?” She asked. To my surprise, she had never heard of Misophonia before I came into her office.
“Misophonia. It's the sensitivity to certain sounds.” I replied as I showed her the wikipedia page for Misophonia on my phone.
Sie nahm sich einen Moment Zeit, um auf die Seite zu schauen und meine Situation zu verstehen. Ich sagte ihr, dass Misophonie mich in der Schule stark beeinträchtigt und viel von meiner Angst und meinem Stress im Studium verursacht hat, weshalb ich genau deshalb in ihrem Büro saß und ihr ärztliches Attest brauchte. Sie bat mich genau zu erklären, wie es mich täglich in der Schule beeinflusst, und so sagte ich es ihr mutig.
It was extremely hard to verbalize the Misophonia mentality and experience not just to my doctor, but also in front of my mom, whom I allowed to come into the room with me so that she could also hear my troubles.
All meine Empfindlichkeiten laut zu beschreiben, ließ mich von den anderen beiden Menschen im Raum entfremdet fühlen, und ich dachte nur: "Wow, wie glücklich sie sind, dass sie sich mit absolut nichts davon identifizieren können." Ich war jedoch dankbar, dass beide bereit waren, mir zuzuhören, zu verstehen, was ich durchmachte, und mir letztlich die ärztliche Bescheinigung zu besorgen, die ich brauchte. Das ließ mich ein bisschen menschlicher fühlen.
“'Ich habe Misophonie' kam mir mit einem Gefühl von Verlegenheit und Erleichterung aus dem Mund.”
Suche nach Nachteilsausgleich für Misophonie am College
My biggest advice when talking to your doctor about experiencing Misophonia is to, firstly, be sure they are aware of what Misophonia is. If they are not sure of what the condition is or have never heard of it, guide them to some trusted resources such as the articles found on the SoQuiet site which clearly describe and explain Misophonia.
Leider ist Misophonie immer noch nicht als ernsthafte medizinische Erkrankung bekannt oder anerkannt, und es ist sehr schockierend zu wissen, dass viele Ärzte noch nicht über die Erkrankung informiert oder uninformiert sind. Deshalb ist es äußerst wichtig, dein Wissen einzubringen und Ressourcen über Misophonie to those people who are unaware of it.
Zweitens, clearly describe your sensitivities to your doctor. Even though it may be difficult at first, having full transparency with your doctor about what bothers you and what doesn’t can greatly help clarify your experiences with Misophonia.
Zuletzt, beschreiben Sie, wie und warum Misophonie Sie täglich betrifft. Denken Sie an eine Liste aller Situationen, in denen Misophonie Sie daran hindert, normal zu funktionieren, Ihre Stimmung verändert, Ihr Verhalten verändert und Sie einfach unwohl fühlen lässt. Das könntest du tun, indem du ein Misophonie Trigger-Tagebuch which can help organize your thoughts, feelings, and triggers associated with Misophonia.
“Beschreiben Sie abschließend, wie und warum Misophonie Sie täglich betrifft.”
This will give your doctor a sense of the magnitude of the problem and it will help clarify your specific experience with Misophonia. I understand that talking about Misophonia and your specific situation with it is incredibly difficult, especially for those of us who suffer in silence most of the time, however it is so vital in getting the help you need to get your accommodations.
Doing the serious paperwork + meeting with an advisor
After I obtained the prized note from my doctor, I was just a few signatures away from getting the accommodations that I had been hoping for. I went back to the same accommodations office a few days later, gave them my doctor's note with the signed documentation they required me to sign. After I did this, they approved me for accommodations and they set up a meeting with an accommodations advisor for me.
In the meeting, the advisor discussed how much extra time I would need on exams (at my school, they call it a “time multiplier” which ranges from anywhere between 1.5x to 4x extra time), if I had any special needs during my exam, or if I required any technology with me to help me write my exams. I went with the lowest time multiplier available to me (1.5x) and I simply required that I be allowed to use my noise-canceling headphones.
The advisor assured me that that was possible and even asked me if I wanted to get funding for having other kinds of technology to help me write my exams. It was really nice to know such a place existed and that there was a place on my campus that was willing and able to provide such a service to students who really need it.
Although I wasn’t even using all the capabilities and amenities of having accommodations, it was so nice to know it was available to me.
Abschließend: Misophonie-Unterkünfte!
After quite a long process, I finally got my accommodations! Ever since that day when I received accommodations, taking exams is a lot less stressful in many ways.
Accommodations take the test anxiety to a much lower and manageable level since I don’t have to worry so much about my activating sounds bothering me. Having more time to do my exams is also so incredibly useful since I no longer feel as much of a rush of adrenaline, almost as if I were running a timed marathon.
Currently, I have a 1.5x time multiplier on my exams, the capability to bring noise-canceling headphones, and, more recently, I met with my advisor to add a white noise machine! Yes, a white noise machine! They actually have those for students with other sound sensitivity conditions as well and let me tell you, it has been an absolute game changer for writing my exams. Now I can have the sound of white noise with me during my exams which recreates a more familiar and comforting experience.
Additionally, I also have a 10 min/hr break as well as the possibility to only have one exam a day if two or more exams happen to fall on the same day. These services could vary from university to university, however, these are what is provided to me for each and every exam at my school. With accommodations, I am required to book all my exams for the semester through an online portal. On this portal, it asks that I mark which aspects of my accommodations I would like to utilize for each exam and it provides me information about where I need to go on campus to write the exam since I do not write in the same room as my peers.
Although it’s quite a journey to get accommodations (at least in my experience), the work is definitely worth it if you feel as though Misophonia is negatively affecting you in your academics and heavily weighing you down from doing the best you can and being the best student you can be! It’s as simple as a google search away from getting the help you need to feel more confident and relieved about having to deal with Misophonia at school.
“Obwohl es eine ziemliche Reise ist, um Unterkunft zu bekommen... Die Arbeit lohnt sich auf jeden Fall, wenn du das Gefühl hast, dass Misophonie dich in deinem Studium negativ beeinträchtigt und dich stark davon abhält, dein Bestes zu geben und der beste Schüler zu sein, der du sein kannst! ”
Als Studenten mit Misophonie fühlen wir uns manchmal (oder oft) stark unterdrückt und eingeschränkt, unsere wahren akademischen Fähigkeiten zeigen zu können, weil wir mit aktivierenden Geräuschen umgehen müssen. Nachteilsausgleiche können Ihnen jedoch sehr helfen, Ihnen das zu bieten, was Sie brauchen, um Ihre misophoniebedingte Angst während der Prüfungsprüfung zu reduzieren, Ihnen insgesamt ein komfortableres Testerlebnis zu bieten und vor allem Ihnen als Student zu helfen, erfolgreich zu sein.